As I was rocking Carson to sleep tonight, I was thinking about how much I would love to just pause life right now and live in these moments forever! I call my mom quite frequently and am constantly telling her how I “wish” Carson was sometimes like a newborn again, or grown up a little bit more. She always points out I need to just love him for right now because there will always be things that are hard no matter what stage he is in. And I know that.
But today I really felt that way. Despite how fussy he can get, despite teething, despite long nights and even longer days, I really just wished I could stop time right now and cuddle him forever.
One of the things that used to really overwhelm me was how much of a momma’s boy he is. Dallas would come home from work, and after a long day of dealing with a screaming baby, I loved being able to hand him off and get my alone time for awhile. But that doesn’t happen anymore…Carson can go to Dallas, and scream even harder because he only wants me back. In fact, Dallas tackled me to the floor today while Carson was playing in his jumper. When I started telling (playfully of course) Dallas to get off me, Carson began to cry only because his mom was in trouble. Once I showed him I was fine, he calmed down and even started laughing with us. Definitely a momma’s boy.
Really though, I love rocking my baby to sleep. I love watching him concentrate so hard on playing with his toys and figuring out new ways to reach them. I love tickling him and listening to him laugh. I love seeing him interact with his Daddy. I love watching his eyes get so big and a smile creep across his face when he sees me walking into his bedroom to pick him up from his nap. I love my baby boy so very much and am so grateful for the joy he brings me every single day.
So yes, I would love to pause life right now, but I also look forward very much to the new things he’ll be doing and learning in the near future. Babies are so wonderful!
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